My anger burst. I thought to myself, “This is the end of our friendship. And this won’t be fixed unless she’ll beg for my forgiveness. She’s the offender, anyway.”
That was me, three months ago. I was hurt; I was bitter; I was unforgiving. Oh and if I forget, I was so selfish too! I really made up my mind that our friendship will never be restored. Eeeeehe. Na-a. NO NO. Not anymore. But the amazing was yet to come.
It was early August when God started to show me the condition of my heart, that I have never really moved on. Rather, I’m fleeing, I’m bitter, and I’m unforgiving. And yes, she’s the one I’m talking to on my blog about Forgiveness. I was humbled as I realize, indeed it was my heart’s status for the past months. And I was convinced that it was the reason I feel burdened, I feel restless and I have no peace.
For days God and I constantly debated over the matter. I wanted to forgive, my heart was opened to. The problem left was, how to resolve the conflict and how can we restore the friendship. God told me to make the first move. I found it on one of the lessons the book The Purpose Driven Life has.
“God, how can I do that? She seems to avoid me every time she sees me. There was even one time she snatched Lian away from Dawn when she saw I was beside Dawn.”
Then I departed from the book and started to write on my journal. The next thing I knew was I was thinking about what “gift” could I give to God for our 4th monthsary (I have a relationship with my Dad and King and every 28th of the month, we celebrate it). Guess what. It popped out of, I’m not sure where.
“I want your reconciliation with Joyce be your gift for me on our fourth monthsary.”
I was silenced. I felt like my whole body, nerves and capillaries included, froze.
“But God, arrrrgh! Okay fine. If You really want that, then give me so much grace that I will succeed on this. I will text her now. And please, soften her heart.”
I felt God’s fist bump as He whispers, “Okay my Princess, that’s a deal”. (Yes, I imagine these kinds of things while having my quiet time, like I’m literally talking to God.)
I texted her, saying I want to talk to her. I waited for minutes, hours, until the moment I was about to sleep. About 14 hours later, still no reply. Before I slept I prayed, “God, why is there no reply? Are You making this hard for me? Isn’t there an easy way? Okay then, just give me a chance to approach her tomorrow (Sunday). Then, I’ll do it.”
The next day, I was having lunch with my brothers and sisters in Christ after the 11am service when my phone beeped. It’s her, asking until what time would I be staying at church. I screamed in amusement, literally screamed. I replied back with all the details, I believe my reply looks so thrilled and excited. I told my leaders, who were with me eating, the good news. They were all so happy for me. I hurried my lunch and went back to church right away.
I saw her and we hugged like nothing happened, like three months was just a day ago. We sat. I started everything with a simple prayer, aiming that more than resolving the conflict, there will be restoration of friendship. I spoke first. I apologized. I explained. And confessed that I miss having a best friend. She did too. Everything was in detail, transparent, honest, with grace, compassion, God’s guidance and with tears, tubs of tears.
My prayer was answered. We resolved the conflict and we were restored, the relationship, our relationship was restored by God. I felt so grateful. I thought, “Yaaaay! Super thank you God. I was so of little faith but You are faithful that when You say it, You’ll do it and when You want something, You would still provide grace so that I will be able to do it. It’s like You’re not asking me to do it, but You’re helping me do it. Like this is not my gift for You on our fourth monthsary, it’s Your gift for me.”
Amazing. God didn’t want the restoration for Himself. He wanted it for me. Isn’t that sweet?
Forgiveness, freeing yourself from burden and bitterness and embracing freedom, is for you. Yes, it’s also for God but moreover, it is for you.
Reconciliation, restoring a broken relationship, forgetting the past and starting anew, is for you. Yes, it’s also for God but moreover, it is for you.
The God we serve is always for us. And we think we do things for Him, yes that’s true, but He wants us to do these things, because in the end, it would still be us who will benefit. ♥ SWEEEET :”>
1. Ask God for the grace and desire to forgive and be reconciled.
2. Admit your flaws and recognize your mistake.
3. Forgive the person even he/she never asks for it.
4. Get rid of all bitterness.
5. Be the one to make the first move. It’s not a matter of whether, you or the other party has sinned more. Being the one to make the first move is an act of humility before God. A sign that you value the relationship more than yourself.
6. Continue to seek God in the process. Ask for guidance.
7. Always aim to have the relationship restored, more than having the problem resolved.
8. Once everything is settled, start anew and forget the past. Make sure in your heart you have forgiven sincerely and is willing to start over.
Approach that person now! GOD IS ABLE! Go for it :)) And..tell me how it went :)