I always hear this analogy: Choosing a partner is like buying a pair of shoes. To find the perfect one, you have to try all your options. Now, let’s put stress on the words “find” and “try all”. Typing them again makes me tired already. Doing them—finding and trying all—oh, don’t mention it. Where do you start the search? How much time and energy do you have to spend trying all? And after all, how can you be sure you’d pick the best one?
Fourth of January, year of the wood horse on the Chinese calendar, I went to Divisoria to do some after-the-Holidays shopping. I was expectant because I’ve tried it before. All goodies are cheaper at the start of the year; they are trying to dispose all that’s left from the holiday sale. My two thousand five hundred pesos had quite a great deal. Clothes, accessories, and…. what could be more exciting than four new pairs of shoes?
I went there expectant, but clueless. Clueless of what I’d be buying. I just need new shoes, flats to be specific. That’s all. Now, let’s talk about love life. We, women, venture out into the world in search for the perfect one hopeful, but clueless, or maybe indecisive, or…has the forget-standards-he’s-so-cute-and-sweet-he’s-the-one attitude. There’s a failure to see that the biggest mistake in this treasure hunt is that we’ve no idea how the treasure looks like, or where to find them or how to find them. We just label “treasure” anything we find “good”. We ditch our own rules and standards. I want a gentleman, someone who can lead a relationship. Well guess what, I’ve gone for the projects—those guys who needs rearing, mothering, nursing, thinking I could change them. How ridiculous. And then, I would always find myself drained.
Going back to the four new pairs I bought, wouldn’t you believe that the sum of their prize is only PhP880.00. Yes, that’s right. Girl, it’s self-explanatory. It’s so easy to acquire them ‘cause they’re cheap. Cheap. I didn’t even think twice. I asked the lady for a size the moment I saw them. And by the time I slip it off my foot for a try, I went straight to the cashier and handed out my payment. Ask me now, do I wear them? Uh, not often. In fact, I won’t use them at parties or special occasions. I use them on “normal” days when I don’t have something special to do or special people to see. I found each pair after another. And I always thought that the new one is better than the first one. So does that mean the last pair is the best one? Nope. They all look the same to me. And the word is, again, cheap. The good thing about having them is not regretting them for that they’ve cost you. PhP880, that’s like five Starbucks frapuccino only.
The next is always better than the one before it. Really? If this is how the treasure hunt would look like then you’d be collecting junk after junk all your life, until you find him. Or in this manner, would you really be able to decide? Will you ever run out of something to label “the one”? I’ve stopped, two years ago. I would pick the best one, no. God would pick the best one for me. All I have to do is wait. I don’t even have to bother asking Him to tell me how that perfect pair looks like, where to find him or how to find him. He will deliver it right at my doorstep. I just have to make the house clean and presentable first.
This is how I would want this “choosing-a-partner-is-like-buying-a-pair-of-shoes” thing to go:
I’ll clean up my house, prepare meals, beautify myself inside and out and sit at the feet of Jesus, every single day of my life like a single penny is dropped inside a piggy bank at the end of each day. A piggy bank whose savings God will use, at the proper time, to buy that pair. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you “work” to earn it. He’s already got it for you. You just have to make sure you’re ready first. And I know one day He’ll come home with that present I’ve been waiting and saving up for. And that treasure, that perfect fit, that final pair is a combination of comfort, elegance and durability.